Archive for March 5th, 2007

4 Ways to a closer relationship

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Do you want to have a closer relationship with your loved one? And Be Happier? Understand the POWER of LISTENING! Do this and see how magnetic you become to them.

Listening can make or break you, if one isn’t listening, communication breaks down, and as we all know, communication is the foundation of any relationship.

If you are a great listener, see how much closer you become to your family, your co-workers, and partners. If you are a sales person, see how your sales increase as you learn the art of listening to what prospects say, and be able to say the right things back to them and close the sale, because you knew what matter to them most first. Is this proven? Oh yes, I am an example, I don’t used to have a close relationship with my family members, but after learning how to listen right, we’ve become closer than ever. And you bet, more sales came in too.

How is it to really listen anyway? Is it by:

1. “Texting” while the other person is talking?
2. Looking at the person talking but you’re pondering on other thoughts?
3. Talking back while the person is still speaking?
4. Thinking what to say while the person isn’t done conveying a message?
5. Contradicting everything the other person is saying? Or worse,
6. Ignoring the person talking? As if they don’t exist.

The above doesn’t characterize listening, but some of us think that it’s alright to listen this way. Chances are, if a person does the above to us while we speak, we may feel insulted, unimportant, disrespected or what have you. Be the one to start the change, if others aren’t listening, be the first to start.

Let me share with you Four (4) ways that will make you a better listener. I learned this from a Success Plus Seminar I attended many years ago, facilitated by Technologies for Peak Performance led by Mr. Rene Austria and his brother John. And it may sound so simple, but when done can make a powerful impact in your relationships, it did to me. My relationship with my dad, my mom, and siblings became closer, so with my friends and partner, which resulted in a happier life and great home environment. My family also went to the same seminar after they saw the benefit in me, which made things even greater. So here is the Power of Listening…

When you listen, do it these 4 ways:

1. Eye ball to eye ball
2. 100% Attention
3. Full Understanding
4. No Interruption

Listening Eye ball to eye ball! This means literally look at the person who is speaking in the eye. Not on your cell phone, the ceiling, or the newspaper (not even at the striking hunk or hot girl passing) especially if you are with your boyfriend or girlfriend hehe…or you might get pinched or slapped lol..

100% Attention! This means your mind and thoughts are only on the person and what he is trying to say. Mind of anything else like the basketball game, the new dress you saw in the mall, or food…

Full Understanding! This means you are trying to get the persons message, and not to think of what you will reply. Understanding his/her concept, feelings, ideas, and being open to it and not contradicting.

No Interruption! This means you don’t stop the person while he/she speaks, or to talk back while the other isn’t done yet. No matter who you feel like talking back, let the him or her finish, just give your 100% attention and Full understanding. Speak when the other person is done.

Try doing these even for just 2minutes! Listen to a person very close to you right after this, and listen Eye ball to eyeball, 100% percent attention, Full Understanding and No Interruption! For just 2 minutes, see what happens!

Let me end this with a “true” story:

A Single father of a teenage boy attended the seminar which taught him the Power of listening, came home eager to speak to his son. When he arrived he saw his son working on his bike. He asked him to get in for them to have a talk. While seated in their sofa, he asked “How are you, son?” and the boy replied “I’m ok dad”, the father wanting to really engage him on a meaning full talk that will allow him to listen more, kept asking.. “How’s school?”, “How are your games?” but his son just kept replying with 3 words – “It’s ok dad?” The father not feeling satisfied, went on to ask “How are your friends?” then the boy replied with a longer statement, “I’ve been bringing them here so you could meet them, but you were always busy.” And dad says, “Oh is that so, sorry son, why don’t we schedule a time.”. With that, the boy suddenly cried. The father got alarmed, and asked “Why? What’s wrong?” then the boy got up and ran to his room. The father followed, and saw his son, opening his cabinet and brought out his fathers gun, and said “You know dad, I was planning to shoot myself tonight, because no one listens to me, I feel you don’t listen to me and don’t care about me.” But now, I changed my mind. The boy gave the gun to his dad, they cried and hugged each other.

When you start to listen, you may even be saving a life, a dream or a grand idea.

“The Quality of your life, depends on the Quality of your communication.” (saw this in a poster)

What’s the quality of your communication like?

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On the Bike in the Garage

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I can drive any 4 wheeled car, but kinda scared with a 2 wheel motorbike (except for a pedal bike hehe). I hope to overcome it soon though. I used to see a street with a lot of bikers only in the movies shot in other Asian countries like Vietnam or Thailand, but recently I noticed the Philippines is becoming bike travellers with the increasing gasoline prices and slow traffic.

It does make sense to get a scooter, to save on Gas and precious time, when you just need to grab a bite, go to the convenience store or rent some movies outside the village.

This Honda 125 cc im on, is my cousin Rene’s bike, i sat on it to get a feel, and maybe later for a ride. I consider driving it within a few kilometer distance from here (the garage) to the nearest 7/11 only hehe…

To all the bikers out there…just be extra careful as you drive especially when you have your kids with you. I saw some bikers with their little children with them, WITHOUT helmets, which is a NO NO. Please be mindful of safety for yourself (because your family depends on you) and your family members (because they’re not that aware of the risks). Please wear your Helmets! Safety First!

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