When you have a fight, and hurt each other, does somebody really win? Is it wise to win the argument but lose the person? Let us try to attack the issue, but not the person, especially if the person you are fighting with means a lot to you!
FIGHT FAIR! Here are 4 TIPS to Successful Fighting that I learned when I went to a Personal Leadership for Unlimited Success Seminar which surely helped improve my relationships.
1. Use a Code – Agree on a Code to use signalling you need to settle an issue (ex. Level UP)
When ever you have an issue, tell the other person that you need to “Level Up” meaning you need to talk about something you want didn’t like and want settled.
Ex. “Let’s have a “Level Up” tonight”
“Mag Level Up tayo mamya ha…”
2. Two Minute Rounds
Take 2 minute turns to say what you want to say. If you called the fight (“Level Up”), be the first to speak and explain your issues in two minutes. Allow the other person to explain his/side for 2 minutes, too, but (really listen while he speaks)
Most often than not, by your third (3rd) round of 2 minute turns, your issues will be settled, and clearly discussed.
3. No Vulgarities. (Walang Bastusan)
Attack the issue not the person. Try not to say curses, or ill words that you will later regret saying… Never attack the person, only the issue, or the behavior but never the person.
Try not to say things like “you are such an idiot..or tanga ka kasi” statements like this is not going to help… Just say, “i didn’t like what you did…..this is how i felt (say if you were insulted, etc.), its okey to talk about your feelings, and attack the act that caused the feeling, not the person who did it.
4. Make Amends
If you are the person who did wrong, make amends, by doing or giving something tangible, something that can be felt or touched to Erase your offense.
Ex.
You came late to your meeting…Offer to treat for coffee or something…
You did not fulfill a promise…give a gift, even simple ones.
3 WAYS to a HOT Communication.
H.O.T! – Honest…Open…Trusting…
To have a HOT Communication is 3 sure ways to strengthen a relationship, whether its for personal or business.
1. Honest, sa tagalog po…Tapat
Tell only the truth, be honest with yourself and others.
Be honest to admit what you feel.
2. Open, sa tagalog po…Bukas Loob at isip
Have an open mind about what the other person has to say, try not
to make assumptions.
3. Trusting, sa tagalog po …Mapagtiwala
Trust that the other person is telling the truth, be the first to start
trusting.
Try using “I PREFER” to a Hotter Relationship…
“I prefer…”
State your preference and enjoy better treatment, instead of telling the other person what he did wrong, simply say what you want…like
“I prefer that you open the car door for me…” (Guys, this is pogi points for you if you do this, women still like being with a gentleman. Even if you have remotes on your car hehe)
“I prefer that you do it this way…”
In tagalog po “Nais ko sana”…”Gusto ko sana…”
“Nais ko sana mag out of town tayo sa summer sa boracay….”
“Nais ko sana, mag sabi ka kung gagabihin ka…”
“Nais ko sana kumain tayo sa labas mamayang gabi…”
Doing the above made life better for me…
The above may seem cliche, but it does work! Try it..
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July 9th, 2010 
Arelle V. White 
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Now, im encouraged to blog consistently lol… I know it’s little compared to how much professional bloggers make, but this pays for my domain and hosting and something left for a snack and Raspberry Frappe at Starbucks lol, my tithes to be the first set aside of course, so God would bless my online stuff even more.
